Crashing Wonderland
by Nox Drake
Summary: This is what happens when you put five demon girls into wonderland with temper and weapons.
1. Paintballs and Doors

The Five Party Crashers were all happily skipping in the daisy meadow behind their mansion... well, not quite. "Shhh, you have to be quite!" Inari hissed to Tempest. "I'm trying, now move your foot, it's in my face." The two girls were hiding under a bush in one of four separate posts serounding the meadow. In the center of the meadow was Tohru, Ino, Hilary and Winry. They were all sitting cross-legged in a circle weaving flowers into crowns. (Daisies of course since it's a DAISY MEADOW, duh.) They were gossiping idly about boys and crushes and weddings and children and the usual teenage girl stuff. "SO, you and Kyo are getting Married, right Tohru?" Winry asked, stuffing a daisy into it's place. "Um, Yes it's in two weeks. Oh I'm so excited! We're going to have children and grandchildren and it will be wonderful dot dot dot." Tohru's tone suddenly changed. "Now that Mistu's out of the way anyway." (Dun dun dun dun! Tohru's really an evil coneiving bitch! Oh MY!) "Oh yes, I wish it were the same for me and Ed. But that good-for-nothing Ayame stole him from me!" Winry half shreeked and ripped her crown in a sudden burst of anger. "Dot dot dot Isn't Ayame his sister?" Hilary asked raising an eyebrow at the shreaded crown. At the thought Winry started hyperventilating and her left eye twitched. "Well I would say that you have nothing to worry about. Since MY husband-to-be was stolen from some emotistic demon bitch thing! And she has TWO! Husbands, TWO! Sasuke AND Gaara! Fucking two-timing bitch! Her and her perfect figure. And perfect jutsu and genjustu. And her perfect foxy-cat charmness!" Ino let out an almost frightening shreek of rage as she tore apart her flower crown.

Hidden in the trees and underbrush, the party crashers looked at one another, blinked, and then muttered bitch under their breath. They spoke to each other through their headsets. "Ready for sweet revenge Mitsy?" Nox asked from the tree. "Heh heh heh, yup." Mitsu answered back from her position under the three foot flowers. (Who gardens this place, and what do they feed the flowers? If they grow any bigger they'll eat us!)

"All though it is very nice of them to invite us here to see Nox's wedding. She married Vincent Valentine, right?" Hilary said after Ino had recovered from her spit of rage. "Yes, that's her second husband too." Tohru said suspiciously. "They must be plotting revenge." She turned her head shiftily. "Dot dot dot your all paranoid." Hilary shook her head with annoyance and stood up. In a huff she left the meadow, not bothering to look back. "Bitch." Ino muttered, not really under her breath. "She doesn't know the pain of our suffering." Winry nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, the five party crashers pulled down their goggles and aimed their assault rifles. "Three. Two. One."

Paintballs flew through the air and splattered at and around Tohru, Ino, and Winry. They shreeked along with the small rodents and other forest animals who were caught in the cross-fire. Looking around for the source of the paintballs. "I told you it was a trap!" Shouted Tohru through the confusion. "What do you want, a medal? We need to get out of here." Winry shouted back. SPLAT!! A huge black Paintball landed dead center in Winry's mouth. Coughing and spluttering, she headed towards the house without further delay, the other two right behind her. (But not before Mitsu landed a huge one on Tohru as well. Although the results weren't as humurous...for us of course.)

Tempest and Inari crawled out from under the bush pulling off their goggles and smirking widely. Ayame and Mitsu stood up from under the flowers, flashing the ram's horn across the field to eachother and then to Tempest and Inari, and finally Nox after she had jumped down from her tree. "Yeah!" Nox shouted, punching the air. "We so rock!" "OHHH! PONE!! Who Pones? We Pone! We Pone!" Mitsu chanted, trying to make a poor attempt at being geto. Tempest stared at her, one eyebrow raised. "Mitsu, you have scarred me for life, never do that again." Immediatley she stopped and lowered her head. "Sorry." Barley a few moments past before they all burst out laughing. "We totally should have gotten that on camera." Inari said, wiping away a tear of laughter. "We did!" said Ayame. She ran excitedly to the tree Nox had been sitting in. "It's up there." And using her kick-ass Koala skills, Ayame climbed up the tree and brought the camera down. The five girls gathered around it and replayed the event...twice...wait, three, no, four times. By the end of the fourth time, the girls were all on the ground clutching their stomachs from laughing so hard. "Oh...my... god..." Mitsu said through gasps of breath. "We SO got them." Eventually the girls stopped laughing and sat in silence. I am sad to say that the silence had a very short life. It's funeral will be held two days from now at the... oh sorry you don't care, right, well...the girls looked around at each other, smirking... oh that can't be good. "And for our next trick..." Said Nox. "Lets pull one on Kankuro." Inari piped up. "Yeah!" Mitsu agreed. "We can call it, operation, White Rabbit!" "What? Why?" Ayame asked. "Because I just saw one. It had a pretty golden watch and a nice cute little vest." "And it stole the video tape right out of the camera!" Ayame shouted angrily. "Where did it go?" "It's over there, come on after it!" Tempest pointed out. They crouched down and headed in the direction of the rabbit.

The other girls saw that Mitsu was right. (Gasp! jk) The rabbit did have a gold watch and a vest. And, they discovered, it could talk too! (Well it was singing really) "I'M LATE! I'M LATE! For a very important date!" The rabbit frantically hopped away, making a bee line straight to a rabbit hole (GASP!! Imagine that!) The Party Crashers followed it non-the-less right up to it's hole. They crouched staring into its black mouth. "Oh well." Ayame said "Let's go home." But none of the girls got up. They sat staring, until they realized, too late, that the hole...was growing. It grew and grew. Until it was big enough to fit all five of them.

"Um dot dot dot, this is weird... maybe we should leave." Inari suggested. However, before they could turn and leave, a wind began to blow. Not from the hole, but into the hole. The wind picked up, faster and faster. It blew so fast and so hard that it blew the five girls right into the hole. They fell through the darkness. Falling, falling, falling.

One By One, the girls softly touched the floor of a small round chamber. There was a narrow hallway that branched off of this chamber and, not knowing what else to do, the girls followed it. The hallway was checkered with pink and yellow squares. There were pictures of odd objects such as teapots, chairs, and hearts hanging on the wall framed in pink and yellow. "Really, I must get the name of this decorator." Nox joked in mock british accent. The other girls giggled. At the end of the hallway was pink door. Tempest reached for the doorknob, turned it, and pulled the door open. Behind it was another door, and another one and another one. The final door was very small. So small in fact, that they had to crawl to get through to the other side.

"Where are we?" Ayame asked straightening up. "Your in the Bizarre Room." Said a voice from who-knows-where. "What? Who said that?" Inari asked scanning the room for someone. "Me. Who else?" The girls realized that the voice was coming from the other side of the room. Perhaps behind that door? "Maybe they're behind the door." Mitsu suggested. "Not behind the door, on the door." All the party crashers stared at the doorknob and saw that it had eyes and a mouth. "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a doorknob talk?" It asked, half glaring at them. "Dot dot dot no..." all five girls answered unison. "What do they teach to children these days? That other girl that passed through hadn't either!" The doorknob seemed quite upset about the whole matter and refused to talk to the girls any more.

"There was another girl here?" Tempest asked. "He's not talking to us any more Tempest." said Nox. Inari leaned on Nox's shoulder and put her hand on her hip. "You know how those doorknobs can be. Jealous of everyone else so they refuse to do anything for them." "Unless..." Ayame added. "You turn them." Almost on que, Mitsu tsisted the doorknob and pulled, causing the knob to cry out in pain. The door flew open and all five girls rushed inside.


	2. Dodos and Dummies

"Hey look, sand." Said Mitsu. "HA! To bad Gaara isn't here." Looking around, the girls saw that they were on a beach. And near them was a Dodo on a rock with a circle of fish and birds dancing around it. Tempest approched them first. "Excuse me young lady, but you must run to get dry." Said the Dodo bird, gesturing to the circle at his feet. "But, I'm not wet." said Tempest Matter-of-factly. "We will be soon, if we don't get moving." Nox said pointing to a very large wave headed in their direction. "That would be a good idea."

Running as fast as they could, the girls just managed to not get wet. They found themselves in a very dark forest. Up ahead was a clearing where they could see to red and yellow balls bouncing up and down. (A closer look told them that it was merely two morons) They attempted to avoid the clearing by walking around it, but ultimatly failed to avoid the bouncing balls. The balls landed in front of them, blocking their path, and appeared to be two very round ... for lack of a better word Dot dot dot people... "Um, excuse us we need to get through."Said Ayame, trying to be polite. "Well we are very sorry but you will not be able to get through this way without paying the toll." The one on the left said. "Okay, what's the toll?" Inari asked out of curiousity. "Silence! We ask the questions here!" The one on the right demanded. The girls looked at each other and turned back to the two...people expectantly.

"Are you ready to here a story?" The one on the left asked. "Dot dot dot no."Tempest answered coldly. "Silence!Dot dot dot I kill you..." The one on the right. "Excuse me? You don't kill us, we kill you." Mitsu said in her mock geto voice. "Damnit Mitsu, what have I told you about that?"Said Tempest as she slapped Mitsu on the arm. "Don't do that Tempest-chan, it hurts." Mitsu pleaded in her most little kiddish voice. "I said SILENCE!!" The one on the right shouted again. "You wanna go fatty!" Nox shouted, brandishing a Kuniah (sp?) "Now now, we don't need any violence here, we just want you to listen to our story." The one on the left said sweetly. "If we listen to your goddamn story can we pass?"Tempest asked impatiently. "Yes of course, we give you our word." The one on the left started the story Dot dot dot a few minutes later the girls' IQ had gone down about 3 points just from hearing a random story about a walrus and a carpenter. "What the fuck was that!" Ayame shouted angrily. "We just wasted five minutes of our lives where we could be catching that god damn rabbit!!" "We're very sorry, would you like to hear another one?" The one on the left asked innocently. "Dot dot dot, NO!" The Party Crashers yelled in unison. "Oh well, someone needs a time out." The left one said. "Yes, yes, a time out." The other one sang. "Oh my fucking god!! Shut! UP!" Ayame pulled out two pistols and shot them both at the same time. The other girls stood there in silent amusement while Ayame hyperventelated. "Hey, Ayame?" Tempest began. "Where did those pistols come from?" "Dot dot dot, I don't know." Confessed Ayame. Shrugging, the girls continued their search for the rabbit.

A short walk later, they came across a path that, a little ways up, stopped at a house. Running along that path, was none other than, the white rabbit. "A monster! A monster! In my house! A MONSTER! Someone help! Please!" Ayame made to snatch up the rabbit but it darted away just in time and continued into the forest the girls had just left. Almost immediately, he popped back out again but with... the Dodo from earlier.

"Oh you must help Dodo! There is a monster attacking my house!" The Rabbit pleaded hopping frantically next to him. "Oh My! You are right Rabbit! There are several Monsters attacking your house!"

"Several?"

"Yes! And they're very UGLY monsters!! Very fierce indeed!" The Dodo was staring straight at the girls. "Wait, Us?" Inari asked astonished by his rudeness. "Oh my! They talk!! Amazing!" The Dodo stared at them with fasination. "Hey!" Tempest shouted. "Who are you calling ugly?" "Yeah, at least WE aren't supposed to be extinct!" Mitsu yelled angrily. "Oh! My! They do seem angry don't they? Very Nasty beasts!"

"Stop talking like we're not here!" Ayame Shouted.

"Oh My! The-"

"You know what? No! Don't even talk! We're leaving, so you know what? FUCK YOU!" It was Nox's turn to shout. And without another word, they turned and followed the path up to the house. "You see? I got rid of them for!" The Dodo said triumphantly and, despite the protests of the white rabbit walked back into the forest.

The house was quite a sight! Inside seemed to be a very large girl whose arms and legs stuck out of the windows and doors of the house. "Wow." Tempest said simply. "Dot dot dot, hey Mitsu, do you have your Digi-camera?" Asked Nox. "Yes! I do!" Mitsu heroically pulled out her digital camera and held it into the air. "Go! Digi-cameramon!" (For the less intellegent people, we're making fun of digimon here, cause it's a DIGITAL camera, you know DIGI, DIGItal! You get it? You do?... good) Mitsu began rapidly pushing the picture-taking button.The repeated flashing caused the very large girl to blink very fast and to cry stop very loudly, which hurt the demon-girls' ears very badly.

"Ehhhh, just shut up!" Inari yelled at the girl while they all covered their ears. The girl stopped asked, both politely and quietly, "could you help me out of this?" "Well, how did you get like that?" Ayame asked, trying to be the good symeritan. "I ate some cookies in a chest and then I started getting bigger and bigger and now..." The girl looked as if she were going to cry. "Any Ideas guys?" Ayame looked at the rest of them expectantly. "Try eating something else. Maybe it'll be magical and make you smaller again." Mitsu suggested. "Yes, yes, my carrots will, but don't let her eat the, please!" The rabbit said pleedingly from behind them.

"Hey, you, I want my video tape back." Ayame said coldly ignoring his plees."Oh, yes I am very sorry about that, you see I thought it was something of the queens, and she so desperately wanted it back." The Rabbit said lowering his head in apology. "Well, where is it?" Nox asked simply. "In there." The Rabbit answered pointing at the house. "Oh." They all muttered moodily.

"Well, if you want your house back, she needs to eat a carrot." Inari said sweetly. (Gosh Inari, your such a nice person.) The Rabbit let out a small sob but nodded in agreement. "Hey! Up there!" Nox shouted to the very large girl. "My name is Alice!" She called down. "Fine! Alice! Eat one of the carrots from the garden, they'll make you smaller!" Alice abliged and reached her giant arm out to the garden and picked up a carrot. Immediately after taking a large bite from it, Alice shrunk to her normal size. She leaned out the window and shouted her thanks before heading back downstairs.

"Let's go get the tape." Ayame said, already heading into the house. They had soon retrieved the tape and were again standing at the front porch. Alice had left, again thanking them, heading in the opposite direction of the forest, which the girls now saw was part of the path.

"I guess there is no more reason for us to be here." Tempest said. Nox nodded. "We should head home." "Um..." The rabbit held up a paw. "The only way for you to leave is to see the queen. She lives in that direction." he pointed in the direction Alice had been going. "But watch out for the Chessire Cat, he's quite a character." The girls nodded at the advice and headed off in the indicated direction.


	3. Flowers and Catepillars

In front of them was green, green, and more green. Their heads faced skywards trying to see the top of the endless green. "What is it?" Inari asked violently pushing on...what-ever-it-was. The green stuff flopped down and then back up slapping Inari in the face knocking her backwards in a sort of comic routine. "It's... grass." Ayame said pushing, lightly, and moving the giant blade of grass to the side revealing more giant grass blades.

"Grass?" Inari asked angrily pushing herself up of the ground. "You mean to say that I just got my ass beat by a giant BLADE of GRASS!!" Ayame nodded simply. "That's what I'm saying." Inari muttered something under her breath that sounded much like the word fuck. "Silly, silly Inari." Tempest said sympathetically. Slouching with self rage, Inari pushed past the blade of grass Ayame was holding back and started picking her way through the rest of the grass field, yard, thing...

Eventually they pushed their way into a large clearing filled with brightly colored flowers. About twenty yards away the clearing extended into a path. No one talked as they stood in the clearing, all of them feeling like they were being watched. "Shouldn't we keep walking?" Mitsu whispered from the back of the small blob. Tempest nodded. "Good idea." Keeping as closely together as possible, they silently crept by the different groups of flowers. Each one seemed to have more of a face the longer you looked at them.

They were walking near a group of small red and orange flowers when Mitsu let out a shriek. Instantaneously, everyone else spun around ready for a fight but were taken completely by surprise when they saw that a small red flower had taken hold of Mitsu's pant leg. It was looking at her leg strangely, as if it had never seen one before.

"The flower is alive, the flower is alive, the flower IS ALIVE!!" Nox shouted pointing hysterically at the flower. "Well of course we are alive, you are aren't you?" Again the girls spun around and noticed a giant red rose with eyes and a mouth that was SMILING at them. In it's stick like hands, the rose held a much smaller rose bud on a branch which she brandished like a wand. "You ARE flowers correct?" Mitsu managed to pry the flower off of her pants before beginning to form the word no, but was cut off by another voice coming from a lilac colored flower who held some sort of stem that was curled to look like spectacles. "They don't look like any flowers I have ever seen." From her voice, the party crashers gathered that she was very snooty and uptight.

"No... we're –" Tempest started to say, but was cut off by yet another voice. This one was small, like a little child and came from the flower that had temporarily kidnaped Mitsu's pants. "They have very odd stems and petals." The purple flower sneered, as best a flower can, and said. "I don't see any petals at all."

"But we're not-" Nox started but, again, was cut off. "They could be exotic you know." Giggled a Daisy (HA! Daisies) from behind the purple snooty flower. "Ugh, exotic. The things rebellious teenagers come up with these days." The snooty flower said in her most snootiest manner. Looking down at their Ninja shoes, individual costumes, and animal tails and ears, the girls wondered how they could possibly be mistaken for flowers.

"Do we look like flowers?" Inari whispered to Tempest. "Not in anyway I can think of."

Nox leaned over to them and whispered, "Maybe we smell like flowers or something we were in a daisy field not too long ago." "Could be," Ayame whispered, joining in on the secret conversation.

"Well they're obviously not very POLITE flowers since they like ignoring their hosts." Sneered the snooty flower. Leaning away from each other again, the girls glared at the flower. Out of the corner of her mouth, Ayame proposed a very appealing plan. "Do you think that we can kill her and then run for it?" The other girls smiled to themselves and contemplatively fingered their kunia packs.

The Party Crashers ran through the extremely tall grass to escape the horrible rath of the flower patch which they had previously just attempted to destroy with Ayame's guns and some explosives Nox had hidden some where in her clothes. They had successfully planted a few of them in various places around the garden before they were chased out because Ayame had tried to shoot the purple flower's head off. They were now a safe distance away from the garden and so stopped and stood very still, listening hard... suddenly, BOOM!! By looking up into the sky, they could see a multi-coloured mushroom cloud erupt from the general area of the garden. Screams and angry voices were heard as flames leapt into the air and instantaneously began to eat away at the grass.

"Oh shit!!" The girls scrambled to get as far away from the flames as possible. They ran through the grass with Inari leading the pack. Abruptly, she slammed into something white and round. Behind her the other Party crashers slammed into her and did a domino effect landing, in a heap, underneath the round white something.

"Watch out for the mushrooooooommmmm." A voice from above them said extending the ending sounds of his sentence. Mitsu peered over the rim of what she now saw was a giant mushroom and leaned heavily on Tempest's back, who was underneath her. "Oh hello!" She said brightly. Inari, who was underneath everyone let out a long miserable groan and attempted to sit up, causing everyone else to fall over behind her. She peered over the mushroom as well, coming face-to-face with a giant caterpillar smoking a very long pipe and wearing several pairs of shoes. "Holy Shit!!" She exclaimed jumping backwards and landing squarely on Nox's back. Nox grunted in pain and pushed her off. "I told you to watch out for the mushroooommmmmm." The caterpillar said watching them over the tip of his long nose. (If you could call it a nose) "Yeah a little late there buddy!" Tempest glared at the caterpillar through her bangs. She blew them out of her face and stood up. "Well that's no way to treat someone whose trying to help." The caterpillar took a smoke of his long pipe and blew out different colored letters.

"And who said we needed your help?" Inari said angrily as she stood up as well. "Well we are kind of lost." said Mitsu. "Shut up Mitsu." Inari glared at her and she lowered her head sadly, her demon hamster ears drooping. (If I had forgotten to mention before, Mitsu is a hamster demon, Nox is a Wolf/Dragon demon, Inari is a werewolf, Tempest is a Cat/Fox demon, and Ayame is a Koala Demon.) "She does have a point." Ayame said, patting Mitsu on the head. Inari let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. "Fine." She turned to the Caterpillar. "Where are we and how can we get to the Castle of Hearts?" The Caterpillar sat contentedly on his mushroom lazily puffing colored smoke. "Ah-YOuuuuu are in a gardennnn. And the Cassssssstllllllle is that wayyyy." He pointed in the direction they had already been heading and took another swig of his huge pipe thing. (Tsk tsk Disney, such drug reference) "Now answer _me_ a question." The girls raised their brows and waited for his question. "Whooooo arrrrre Youuuuuu?" Mitsu opened her mouth and took a breath to answer but was stopped by Inari. "Depends on whose asking, who are you?" "More like _what_ are you?" Nox piped up from the back of the group.

"He's a caterpillar." said Tempest. "A _giant_ caterpillar." "I am not giant." Said the caterpillar, taking another smoke. "You are simply small." "Well how do we become not small?" Nox asked with a frown. "You must answer my question first, before I can answer another of yours."

"But you already answered another of our questions." Nox said matter-of-factly. The Caterpillar's face, which was blue, suddenly turned a deep purple. "Don't playyyy smart it's rrrrrrrruuuuuude." He said angrily. The girls simply looked ast eachother, slightly amused. Since when had _they_ been polite? Just a few hours ago (really that long? Time flies in wonder land) they had been pelting four other girls with paintballs. "Well how do we get big again?" Tempest asked, purposefully trying to piss him off now."WHOOOOO ARRRE YOUUUUU?!" The Caterpillar shouted, dropping his pipe and standing up. "HOOOOOOW DOOOO WEEE GETTT BIIIIIIGGGGGG?" Nox shouted back. The caterpillar stood on it's tippiest toes and in an explosion of color, sprouted wings. "LEARRRRRRRRRRN TOOO BEEE POOOLITTTTE!!" He shouted as her flew away on his new wings.

"Great, now how do we get big again?" Ayame said dejectedly. Nox looked around their surroundings thoughtfully. Just out of the corner of her eye, she detected a slight movement on the ground a few feet away and went to investigate. Meanwhile, the other girls were brainstorming for ideas as to what to do next (except Mitsu who was examining the mushroom behind Tempest). She kneeled down and found what looked like a loaf of bread. Curious, she poked the loaf. It came to life and separated into several slices of buttered bread, which flew away, but not before she caught one.

"Nox, what are you doing?" Tempest asked, being the first one to notice her wolfy friend kneeling over something. Nox walked over, her clawed hands clenched delicately over something. "Look what I found." She opened her hands, and the "butter" fly fluttered desperately into Tempest's face. Tempest instictively shot back away from the butterfly, and right into Mitsu. Mitsu slammed against the mushroom and as humiliating as it is, got both her upper and lower perfect hamster teeth stuck in the brim of the mushroom. Tempest gasped. "Are you okay Mitsu?" She and the others crowded around her to offer their assistance.

Mitsu groaned. She hated mushrooms and at that very moment, she really needed to swallow. Automatically, her tongue moved to touch the roof of her mouth, but instead licked the mushroom. A tingly feeling crawled up her body and suddenly everything began to shrink, including the mushroom, which uprooted and stuck to her top teeth.

The other girls looked up at their friend and backed away to make sure she didn't step on them. "Dot Dot Dot!" Nox said in astonishment. "Stop it." said Tempest. "Sorry."

Mitsu looked down at her friends which were the size of ants. She then pulled out the mushroom, looked at it... bing! (The light bulb is working!!) She placed the mushroom on the ground in front of her friends and said. "Lick it! It makes you bigger!"

Down on the ground, the girls covered their demon ears from Mitsu's obnoxiously loud voice. When she had finished talking, they each took a piece of the mushroom and licked it.

Mitsu watched as one-by-one each of her friends grew to their normal height. (Nox being half an inch shorter than everyone else) "Ew I hate mushrooms." Nox whined and spit on the ground, but the taste remained. "Ya know, mushrooms always look taster on tv." Ayame said, also spitting to no avail. "Well, let's go find that castle." Tempest said, whiping her mouth. They headed into the direction the caterpillar had pointed. (Which happened to be a dark forest)


	4. Mad Cats

Once beneath the shadows of the trees, the girls found a narrow path that cut through a tangle of grass, thorn bushes, and poison ivy. "I'm going to get a rash after this aren't I?" Tempest wined as she picked her way through. "Yeah well, so am I." Was Inari's answer. "Well sor-ry." said Tempest. Inari lashed back at her with another comment and so began one of their usual nothing fights (Courtesy of Dane Cook).

The girls continued on down the path, Mitsu, Nox, and Ayame, not wishing to listen to the other two, had started a conversation about mushrooms and caterpillars. Meanwhile, Tempest and Inari walked behind them side-by-side not saying a single word to each other but adding a comment here or there. After passing more trees than they could count, the girls finally came to a cross road. In the center sat a large tree stump and surrounding it, were wooden road signs pointing in varius directions.

"I don't know about you guys, but the wooly bear is deffinitley _the_ coolest caterpillar that ever exited." said Ayame as she glanced from sign post to sign post. "I would have to side with you on that one." Nox agreed. She absentmindedly turned in the direction of the sign post marked "mad hatter" and Mitsu followed without even glancing at the others. Just as they were well on their way up that path, a voice behind them spoke up. "Well, I wouldn't exactly agree on you there, Wooly Bears can quite nasty little blighters." Four faces turned in response, and on the previously empty stump, sat a rather fat purple striped cat.

"Who are you?" Mitsu asked, cocking her head. "Or rather," the cat answered, "_What _am I?" One set of his purple stripes began to unravel all the up to his bulging yellow eyes. "Ok well, _what_ are you then?" Mitsu giggled. The cat's stripe winded back down him again and he stood up on his hind legs. His unproporsional paws rested on his round hips in an astonished gesture. "Now that's just plain rude. You ask _who _someone is, not _what_." Mitsu's smile fell and her shoulders slumped. She looked quite put out. Inari's nostrils flared and her wolf tail fluffed out and stood rigid. "No, _your_ rude. She already asked _who_ you were and then you went and corrected her." Behind Inari, Tempest rolled her eyes silently and glared in annoyance at the ground.

In doing this, she noticed a small family of bike horns making their way across the path in just the sort of way a family of ducks would. The smallest one in the very back looked up at her and, seeing her glare, jumped in surprise and rushed to its mother at the front. 'Aw, I scared it.' Tempest thought sadly. However, on the outside, her expression did not change and she looked up again just intime to witness Nox shouting angrily at the cat this time.

"Do you have something important to say? Cause if you don't we have places to be." Said Nox to the Cat. She was obviously angry and didn't appreciate taking crap from an out of proporsion cat with personality disorders. "What I have to say is only important to those who think it to be." Replied the cat as it stuck its paw into its ear and pulled out a dust bunny. "What the fuck? If you have something to say that will help us, say it you fucking dust bin!" Nox was now shouting at the top of her lungs and off in the distance the girls could here a flock of birds (or were they?) unsettle and fly away. "tsk. tsk." The cat waggled its finger at her with a mock frown. "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." "If you have nothing _intellegent_ to say don't say anything at all!" Nox screamed back,causing a few more forest animals to scurry away. "Noxy-chan, keep it down." Mitsu wispered from behind her. "It's okay Mitsu, you don't need to be afraid of a cat." Ayame cooed from her side. "I- I'm not afraid." Mitsu stood up straight and placed her fists against her waist in a heroic pose. "It's not a cat any ways, let's just go guys." Tempest turned to continue on the path they were on but stopped when the cat (or what ever it was) agreed with her. "She is right." The cat (or whatever it was) hung it's head sadly. "I'm not a cat, I'm a cheshire cat." At this, he stood up straight again, mimicing Mitsu's pose. (quite poorly might I add)

"What's the difference?" Tempest was about ready to strangle the fucking beast.

BANG!! The cheshire cat clutched its gut in pain. He began to sway back and forth on his tree stump and, finally, fell. Nox, Tempest, Inari, and Mitsu turned to Ayame who still held out her smoking gun. She bent her elbow to bring the barrel of the gun to her mouth. Dramatcially, she blew the smoke away and spun it on her finger. She opened her shirt and placed the gun into the hidden pocket there.

In Unsion, they all turned and, in a slow pace with their hair blowing in the non existant wind, continued down the path again. "I really do have something important to say." The Cheshire cat matterialized on the tree branch ahead of them. "Well then say it!" Ayame shouted angrily at him from the ground. "Don't go that way." He pointed with one paw in the opposite direction they were facing. "Kay." Said Tempest, and she started walking again toward the Mad Hatter. The others followed her and they soon left the cat behind them. "How was that in any way helpful?" Inari complained. "We weren't going that way anyways!! What was the point of telling us not to do something we weren't even doing?" Up ahead on the path, Ayame spotted a sickenly humorous sight. Taking a closer look, the girls discovered a dead carcus. "It's Alice, the girl from the rabbit's house." Mitsu cried in astonishment. Poor Alice's eyes had been gouged out by what they asumed were the small glasses with bird beeks, who were now absurving them hungrily. "Maybe we should keep walking." Mitsu whispered. With no argument attempted what-so-ever, the girls creeped past the strange glasses/bird things. Strangely enough, as they continued on, the path seemed to get mush lighter. Ahead of the group, a series of whistles and toots could be heard. Togther, the sounds created a melody and over top of it the girls could here laughter and singing. "Looks like we're here." said Nox who had been leading the group.

They rounded a curve and a long table lined with chairs came into view. Over two dozen teapots, cups, and saucers littered the table and almost hid the pink cloth covering it. Each teapot was very unique in its own way. There were teapots with three spouts, two spouts, one spout, no spouts, and even a dozen spouts. All of them were steaming in mushroom clouds. As a cloud would puff out, either a whistle or a toot would follow. (thus explaining the music they had heard) To the right of the table was a small pink cottage with a porch and two second story windows. "May we help you?" A small man wearing a very large green hat was sitting in one of the chairs. His toungue hung out of the corner of his mouth and he sat next to a brown humaniod rabbit. "Um... yes..." Nox answered still staring at the teapots. "Well tell over some tea." The little man descided. He and his rabbit friend ushered the girls into a seat and poured them some tea. "So. Where are you from? and where are you going?" He sat down across from them and stirred some sugar into his own cup of tea. "We are from earth!!" Mitsu chirped happily. She held up her hand in the special Star Trek sign.

The man and his rabbit looked at eachother confused. "Well that's very nice. I'm the mad hatter, who are you?" Mitsu introduced herself and the others as they sat side by side glancing around awkwardly. They all made a mental note to not drink the tea. In the center of the table, sat a large yellow tea pot rimmed with pink flowers. Inside, the girls could here a small voice singing. "Twinkle twinkle little bat..." Drunkenly, the lid of the pot lifted. It was resting on the head of a very small mouse. His drowsy eyes stared at Mitsu. "Sister? I thought you were dead." It said. Mitsu cocked her head and gave it an akward glance. She looked to Tempest, who shrugged. "Well good night sister. I'm going to sleep, you'll probably be gone when I wake up again." The mouse lowered the lid slowly and retrieted back to its pot, where they could here it snoring.

After the akward silence had subsided, the Mad Hatter and His rabbit leapt up from their seats. They hopped along the edge of the table and grabbed Tempest's left hand. "Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move Down!" they shouted. In a mixture of surprise and anger, Tempest grabbed for Inari's, who grabbed Nox's, who grabbed, Mitsu's, who grabbed Ayame's, who slammed into their vacant chairs and knocked them over. They stopped at the very far end of the table, which seemed to be growing longer, and were poured another cup of tea. (which they refused to drink) With a puff of purple smoke and sparks, a birthday cake appeared on the table in front of Inari. "Is this a birthday cake?" She asked, pointing her index claw in its general direction. "Know silly," The mad Hatter answered, spraying them with saliva. "That's disgusting." Tempest muttered. "We are not eating that cake." Throwing out his arms and knocking his rabbit friend silly, he announced. "It's an _un_birthday cake." The five party crashers looked very confused. "An _un_birthday?" said Ayame. "What is that? Some kind of retarded celebration about the fact that it is _not_ your birthday since your birthday is only once a year?" She raised her eyebrow at them. "Why YES!!" The Mad Hatter shouted over excitedly. "We shold all toast to her brilliance! Quick! With our tea cups!" The four other girls turned and glared at Ayame in unison. Ayame sank into her seat but picked up her cup along with the others. They each inclined their cups toward eachothers and then, grudgingly, took a sip of the tea.

Nox spat hers back out and began mentaling wishing for her coffea. In turn, all five girls gagged and slammed their cups back onto their saucers. "That was tthe most disgusting thing I have every drinken!" Mitsu shouted with enfusis. "How the _hell _do british people drink this stuff?" Tempest said after resurfacing from under the table where she had been attempting to hack up any taste of the tea possible. "Oh british people don't drink this." Chirped the Rabbit from his pirtch on the table top. "We're the only ones who drink this tea." Inari's face turned beet red. "Well then wy the hell did you give it to _us?_" The Mad Hatter and the rabbit looked confused. "Why wouldn't we?" They asked. "Maybe because we're _normal_!!" Inari shouted back. The Mad Hatter blew her off with a flick of his wrist. "pfft nobody's normal in Wonderland." Tempest looked from him to Inari. "I am?" (don't mind that joke, you most deffinitley wont get it... unless you watch me... STALKER!!) "Inari, the last time I checked, we weren't exactly normal material either." said Nox in an even tone. "She has a point." Mitsu agreed.

"And that is most likely why you have been brought here." said the Mad Hatter. The girls stared at him for a moment. "What did you say?" Tempest asked narrowing her eyes. "Nothing!" The Mad Hatter and the Rabbit shouted in unison, covering eachothers mouths like small children. "We asked, what did you say?" Inari growled dangerously. They both shook their heads... and then disappeared. As did the table with all its pots, except the one with the mouse hidden inside, the house, and the chairs. Looking down, the girls found that they were now sitting on giant toadstools. A fat purple cat materialized infront of them. "How are you getting along?" Its head began to roll upside down while still on its shoulders. Nox leaned over to Inari. "This cat is satan." She whispered. "No I'm not." It said defiantly. Nox leaned over again. "It's satan with supersonic hearing." The cat's head rolled back the right way and her glared at her. "I am not satan, you are." Nox stood up in anger. "Am not! You are!" "No you are!" "You!" "You!" Mitsu sat grinning. Nox was the only one, the _only_ one who would get into such a childish fight with a cheshire cat.

"Excuse me!" Tempest interuppted the fight just before Nox was getting ready to punch the cat. "We need to find this queen of hearts in order to leave, so could you point us in the right direction?" Nox slumped her shoulders and gaped at Tempest. "Don't ask favors from Satan, haven't you ever read "The Monkey's Paw?" Tempest ignored her and proceeded to ask the cat again. "It's... this way." He jabbed the end of his tail straight at an old hollow tree. "What?" Murmmured Tempest. She turned back to the cat but he ha gone, leaving no trace that he had ever been there. Looking back up at the tree, she witnessed a very peculiar sight. There was now a very large walkway inside the tree. A walkway that led through a heart shaped arch and straight on to a magnificent pink and white castle off in the distance. With no hesitation and the other party crashers following close behind her, Tempest ducked and entered the tree. Surprisingly, the walkway was rather short, and they soon passed under the arch into a large courtyard. Seemingly in no particular order, rose pushes were blossoming from the ground all around the yard. Half of the roses were white, while the other half, were red. Beneath the red roses, were splotching of red paint, and, taking a closer look, the girls could see that the red roses were really white with a bad paint job.

A few bushes infront of them they could hear more singing and listened in for more investigation. According to the song, some men, or cards, as they would soon see, had accidentally planted white roses instead of red. And so to avoid the death sentence, were now painting the new blooming _white_ roses, _red_.

Back with the mouse we left alone and forgotten in the pot. He peeked out of his hiding place, or home, we're not sure which. Looking around the empty clearing, he yawned and then murmmered a few inaudible words before returning to his pot to sleep once more. "Sister is gone. See? I told you she would be when I woke up. And now look, Iam awake and she is gone."


	5. Hearts A Plenty

Silently, Mitsu pointed to an abondoned pair of hedge clippers near a garden shed and flashed a grin at the other four girls. They flashed one back, reseiving her brain waves and Ayame crouched and ran to pick them up. With a creek, the door to the hedge inched open and Ayame couldn't help but peek inside. Leaning against the far wall, were four identical pairs of hedge clippers. Smirking maliciously to herself, Ayame creapted inside and gathered them up in her arms. Just as quietly as she had come, she left and rejoined with the group. They passed the hedge clippers around and separated among the rose bushes.

Inari opened her clipperd and framed them around a large dripping wet red rose. Snip! the head of the flower fell to the ground making a soft pat. She did the same to the other roses clustered around the bush until there were no more. Each one hit the ground and splattered red paint in all directions.

Each Party crasher skillfuly avoided the cards which were dancing in circles around the yard will singing. "HUH!!" One of them gasped. The five girls smirked and crawled into the shed, after placing the clippers beneath the cards as they stared, dazed at the clipped bushes. The girls had successfully clipped everysingle one of the red roses (there weren't any white ones left) and were now giggling to themselves inside the shed. Trumpets sounded from the Court yard gate and the cards turned to face them in fear. Still not noticing the clippers beneath their feet, one of them took a step and tripped. It landed face down in the grass and dared not move, hoping that the queen would not see him here.

"Who chopped all of my roses?" And angry voice split the sound of the trumpets right down the middle. The cards cowered and, still not noticing the clippers, tripped over them. Their round noses slammed against the ground one by one and the queen stomped up to them. "What are you doing on the gorund?" She shouted. "You should be trying to find the one who clipped my roses!" Her voice was so loud, that the five demon girls had to cover their ears even from behind the walls of the shed. The queen let out a gasp of rage and delight as she saw the clippers near each of the cards' feet. "So!" Her face turned beat red and the cards cowered before her, sweat beating down their brows. "YOU were the ones who clipped my roses!!" Her shouts were now echoeing back to them sevenfold from the garden's grass walls. "Someone shall loose their heads!"

Inside the shed, the five girls glansed at eachother, their eyebrows raised. "Bitch." Tempest whispered to Inari. "What was that?" The girls could now hear the queen sniffing the air. They heard her approach the door of the shed and smash against it. "Their in there!" She shouted. The door began pulsing inward as someone, the girls guessed more cards, were beeting against it. The door slammed against the floor and bounced back up before being being slammed back down by the queen.

A large red face stared at the girls from the door way. Slowly the face faded to a pale pink and its scowl spread into a smile. "Why, they're only little girls." She cooed at them. At any other time, Inari would have shouted something like 'we aren't little!' or 'better to be little than have a huge ass like your!' but she was too astonished at the situation. The girls stared at her, their mouths gaping and their eyebrows still raised.

"Come come little girls." She cooed again. "Let's go have some fun." Only one thought passed through the girls. 'What kind of fun?' "W-we're not supposed to talk to strangers." Mitsu whimpered, acting as if she really were a little girl. (the girls are somewhere between 18 and 19) "I SAID LET'S HAVE FUN!!" The queen shouted into their faces, gassing the girls with very very bad breath. Inari, who was the closest to her, began to gag horribly as the queen dragged them out.

A few minutes later, the girls found themselves on a croquette court. Only, there weren't wire arches like normal, the arches were simply live cards leaning over and sticking their skinny asses into the air. "Are you ready to play?" The queen asked sweetly from behind them. "Um..." The girls sweat dropped but ablidged. They were each handed a brightly coloured flamingo and matching hedgehog. Just Mitsu was forming the question on her lips, it was answered by the Queen placing her hedgehog on the ground and swinging her flamingo, head down, sending the hedgehog rolling across the field. The cards jumped over the hedgehog as it missed them by several feet.

"Hey," Nox whispered to Mitsu. "Isn't that cheating?" Mitsu nodded but Nox didn't see. She was called up to take her turn, and placed her red hedgehog on the ground just as the Queen had. Nox lifted the flamingo above her head, but before she could swing it down, the flamingo drooped its head over her other side and started rubbing its beak against her side. (most people are ticklish here) Nox didn't faze but meerily snapped the flamingo straight again. This time, she brought it back and swung it down so fast, it didn't have time to react. The hedghog was sent rolling away so fast thaat the cards had a hard time jumping away from it. But they did, so Nox lost. Fuming, Nox returned to her spot next to Mitsu. She sat on the ground, cross legged, muttering curses under her breath.

It was now Inari's turn. She began just the same as Nox had, but was posed with an obstical when the flamingo tickled her side. She doubled over in giggles and her flamingo almost flew away, but she caught it and, still laughing, slapped it at the hedgehog. Both the flamingo and Hedgehog went sailing through the air, nearly decapitating several cards who were watching the match. Tempest rolled Inari out of the way since she was still on the ground laughing and Ayame stepped up for her turn.

Similar events took place for Ayame, but so far, she was the closest to a goal out of the three girls who had so far gone. Tempest potioned herself and the hedgehog with no difficulty, the other girls suspected that she had threatened her flamingo so it was too afraid to mess up. The flamingo sertaingly looked afraid. Sweat was dripping down it neck onto the grass and it entire head seemed to have been drained of blood. The hedgehog wizzed to each card, they all, inturn, jumped out of the way just intime. However, one of them now has a severe concusion and is lying motionless on the grass.

Mitsu's turn was by far, the most entertaining. It took her hearly twenty minutes to get her flamingo under control, part of the problem was that she could not stop laughing from it's tickles, and when the hedgehog was finally moved, it flew into the air. Surprisingly, it bounced off of a pole, to the ground, went rolling, hit the nose of one of the cards, sailed back through another one and straight on underneath one who had not been paying attention. Everyone watched with baited breath as Mitsu's hedgehog bounced and rolled around until, finally, it had made it through everysingle arch.

The queen dropped her jaw and stared at the hedgehog, which had slowed to a stop, and was now stumbling around, dizzy from the game. As Mistu squeeled in delight and jumped with joy, the queen's face, yet again, began to boil red. "I LOST?" She shouted the question with so much rage, that everyone but the girls were cowering in fear. "I CAN'T HAVE LOST!! I'M THE QUEEN!!" The girls continued to ignore her rage, which angered her all the more. A very small man stepped out onto the feild. He was jiggling oddly, which is what made the girls stop and stare at him. "Calm down dear, calm down." His voice squeaked out the words as he waved around a stick tipped with a red heart.

"Who are you?" Tempest looked down on him with disgust. "Why, I'm the king!" He said brightly. He continued to jiggle up and down non stop. "SOMEONE IS GOING TO LOSE THEIR HEAD!" the queen shouted. Tempest sighed. 'So immature.' The queen rushed over and bore down on them with her fat ass sticking up in the air and her face three inches from Mitsu's. "YOUR HEAD SHOULD DO NICELY!" Mitsu leaned away from her, gagging. (remember, she ahs bad breath)

Nox rushed over to Mitsu's rescue first. She placed herslef firmly between the queen and Mitsu. "Sorry," She said calmly. "But you'll have to get through the rest of us first." On que, the other girls crouded behind her. Tempest placed a friendly hand on Mitsu's shoulder and glared up at the queen. "FINE!" the queen shouted, smiling now. "WE'LL CHOP OFF ALL THEIR HEADS!!" The king bounced into view. "Oh please, please dear, shouldn't we have a trial fir-" BANG!. A gunshot echoed across the field and the other girls turned to Ayame, yet again, who was holding her gun out in front of her. The king now had a very large blood stain on his robe and the grass in below him. He flopped over motionless onto the grass. "Sorry," Ayame shrugged, placing her guns back into its holster. "He just annoyed the fuck out of me."

The queen stared blankly at the king. "We just want out of here." Mitsu whimpered. "HA! the only way you can possibley leave, is if you were to kill the one who created this world." The queen chuckled. "And who would that be?" Tempest asked dangerously. "It couldn't possibley be you, your not smart enough." The queen's smile faded. She opened her mouth to shout again, but never got the chance. BANG! The other girls turned to glare at Ayame. "I've waiting to do that." SHe said. "But now we don't know who created this place! So now we'll never leave!" Inari shouted angrily at her. Ayame shrugged. "It's Alice." "And how do-" Inari stopped. "Who?" Ayame sighed. "The girl from before, in the house." Inari's eye's lit up with realization. "Oh yeah! Wait! We found her dead in the last chapter." Ayame's face fell. "Oh yeah." :You mean you forgot she was dead?" Inari shouted. "Who's dead?" The girls spun around to face... Alice. "How? How did? But-" Ianri seemed lost for words. "Did you create this worl?" Nox asked, approaching Alice. "Why yes, I did." She smiled at them sweetly. "Oh! Good." Ayame said. Another shot was heard as Alice hit the ground, dead... again. "Ayame! That was horrible!" Inari shouted angirly. "Do you want to leave this place?" Ayame argued back. "Well, yeah, but we don't have to kill people to do it." Inari snapped.

"Hey guys." Mitsu whimpered. "Well that's what the queen said we had to do."

"Guys."

"Just because fat bitch says you have doesn't mean you actually do!"

"Guys."

"Well, ya know what?"

"GUYS!"

"WHAT!" Inari and Ayame stopped their arguing and looked up to see Alice push herself off the ground and shoot them a deadly glare. "You shouldn't have done that." She said stepping toward them. "Good job Ayame!" Inari shouted. "Now is not the time to point fingers." Ayame ran full pelt away from Alice as fast as she could with the other girls hot on her heels. "This way, this way." A small voice said from their left. They skidded to a halt to face the white rabbit. He was pointing to a small hole in the ground. "This way, this way. You must leave, now's your only chance." With out a second thought, the girls dived into the rabbit hole (one by one of coarse).

They were sliding down deeper into the darkness, with Ayame in the lead. Up ahead she could see a sparkly light. And far behind her she could hear the scuffles and screams of Alice. 'She can't get down here. There's something blocking her.' Ayame thought. Just then, the sparkly light grew. It enveloped the five girls and suddenly they were falling again. CRASH! The girls landed in a doggy pile. Beneath them, they could feel warm sand, and knew that they were on a beach for the second time that day. As they untangled themselves, they could hear the light giggling of girls, and one boy. "Urgg, where are we?" Tempest asked, rubbing her head. "Why, your in Neverland."

**_To be continued in my next story: CRASHING NEVERLAND!! _**


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